Self Improvement is Masturbation...: My Perfect Day and There Was No Drinking!!!

I just came across this ancient blog post. I figured I'd repost it as it illustrates how different I was in some days, and it was also a day in which I was genuinely beside myself with happiness. Every now and then it is nice to revisit memories of people that you desperately loved and at the time desperately loved you. No matter what happened, she will always have a place in my heart. It's nice to know that I'm not entirely unlovable! Anyway, the writing is quite shitty. Also, as there are those goofy graphic illustrations at the end, rest assured that this post was approved prior to posting from the lady friend at the time. So... here it is.

How can I have a perfect day without alcohol? If you asked then you get a shiny star and a cookie. Well, I have given up booze until my birthday and then after that I intend to go on a very controlled drinking regiment. Controlled meaning barely existent. I need to clean up my body and get back to dropping those 15 lbs. So with the no drinking thing I need to make the best out of life (as sad as that may be) and it turns out that I have been able to so far.

The whole day started at a bright and early 10 am (fuck off... that's early for a Saturday). I had a double feature to make out in West LA at my favorite little theater... The Landmark.

Here's a fun side note. From now on you will see tons of photos I will be taking with my little point and shoot digital camera. I decided that I need to focus on my shot composition more so I am just starting to dick around and shoot everything I experience. Mind you a lot of these will suck as I am no photographer (that's what I have awesome DP Dan for) and most people get annoyed waiting for me to shoot everything so a lot of times I have to rush it.

Anyways, back on subject. I grab my little girly out of my bed and we head down there to make the first of our 2 movies for the day "Snow Angels". We get there an accidental hour early (I like to anticipate traffic) and get to wander around everyone's second favorite chain bookstore Barnes & Noble. It is there that I delve into the good old "4 Dummies" books and discover that maybe I should move my shit over to Wordpress. More on that as it breaks.

So finally my great friend (and fellow Betty blogger) Rob decides to stumble into the theater a nice 2.36 mins before the first film of the day starts.

After the flick we had a cool 2 hours to kill before the next one so we headed down to what Rob claims is the best burger in L.A., Apple Pan. I'll toss out the order of the meal so that you can decide.

Fries came out first. Very tasty for being so thick.

Followed by a frosty beverage with a cool but totally impractical cup. I think more of the drink ended up in my lap than in my mouth. Kitsch like that is totally worth it. (P.S. That was Caroline's Root Beer, I thought it looked more interesting than me Diet Coke you will see right...).

...Now!!! The full meal. See the Diet Coke doesn't have the same charm.

So it breaks down like this. You walk into the place and you have to play musical chairs. It is just one huge bar with no one taking names. You gotta fight for your seats. I actually had to threaten to rape an older lady so she would stop eyeballing the seats that I wanted. (Note: I say fight for your seats due to its dramatic impact. It was a fairly simple and cordial process minus making people feel like they better move their asses and get the fuck out of there. Oh and I didn't actually threaten rape, I actually took her behind the dumpster and made her dreams a reality). All in all, it may not have been the best burger in L.A., but without thinking about it too much I can't think of a better burger in the city. Go there for the feeling you are still in the days of yonder and for the food it's damn good, but remember to bring cash as it is cash only.

So it was time to go back to the theater as the time for "Paranoid Park" was nigh. and check out the flick after a brief stop off at the Barnes & Noble to actually buy the Wordpress for Dummies book. Change is imminent... I promise you that.

Paranoid Park time. This is where my lady and I fall away from each other. I was sucked in to the film, at the edge of my seat. She was tucked up in the back of her seat, fast asleep. To each their own.

Afterward, I had the distinct honor of paying 6 bucks for some frozen yogurt at cum rag Perez Hilton's second favorite cream dispensary Pinkberry (his actual favorite is the bathroom of the gift shop on Hollywood 3 blocks East of Highland). I love me some Pinkberry, but feel ridiculously silly going into the place and having to listen to that shit music and spending so much fucking money on yogurt and fruit.

Later that evening food was required (because you know, burgers, fries, ice cream, etc. isn't enough in this country, so it was off to Z Pizza. I will let the story of our meal be told through pictures.

The antipasti came.

I ate some, but didn't wanna fill my tummy before I could have some pizza.

"You better eat every last bite, buster!"

Fear of her finger forced compliance.

"Hip hip hooray!" My Napoli Pizza arrived!

Boo! Droopy slice! "No I will not eat this droopy pizza."

"You better eat that! You are a growing boy!"

AHA! Maybe some pizza candy will help make this pizza better!

It certainly looks better!

"Yay, it is better! Pizza, you are ordered to enter me tummy!"

So ya, dinner was a delight.

Back to the house so that we could watch another movie. What was the choice???? Oh I'll tell you, "The Lives of Others". It turned out to be the perfect film to end the perfect day to.

So as far as it goes, this day can't get any better right? I mean I had awesome food, spent it with me darling lady and one of my closest friends, I saw 3 incredible films for the first time (2 of which were at my favorite theater), and I got to see a Q&A with one of my favorite directors. Well, it did get better. I'll show you how me lady made it grand.